{"id":6226,"date":"2022-11-16T12:40:46","date_gmt":"2022-11-16T07:10:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/?p=6226"},"modified":"2022-11-16T12:42:38","modified_gmt":"2022-11-16T07:12:38","slug":"life-lessons-i-learned-from-my-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/life-lessons-i-learned-from-my-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Life Lessons I Learned From My Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">You know you\u2019re on the precipice of either a breakthrough, or a breakdown, when you find yourself consuming more <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/best-self-help-books\/\">self-help books<\/a>, how-to blogs, and ra-ra podcasts than you\u2019d like to admit. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Each medium, an IV drip of motivation, inspiration, and positivity. A necessary form of nourishment for the soul; a form of life support on the uncomfortable path to transformation. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Nevertheless, it can still be hard to stay motivated, even when you wear it as armor.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Without a direct emergency line to motivational moguls, I uncovered a different approach: I tuned into the source present in front of me. Which revealed an unexpected source of mentorship\u2014my kids.<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"toc_container\" class=\"no_bullets\"><p class=\"toc_title\">Contents<\/p><ul class=\"toc_list\"><li><a href=\"#5_Life_Lessons_My_Kids_Taught_Me\">5 Life Lessons My Kids Taught Me:<\/a><ul><li><a href=\"#1_Figure_it_out_as_you_go\">1. Figure it out as you go. <\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#2_Reward_yourself\">2. Reward yourself.<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#3_Give_running_hugs\">3. Give running hugs. <\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#4_Take_a_time_out\">4. Take a time out. <\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#5_Go_back_to_the_basics\">5. Go back to the basics. <\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/div>\n<h2><span id=\"5_Life_Lessons_My_Kids_Taught_Me\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">5 Life Lessons My Kids Taught Me:<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n<h3><span id=\"1_Figure_it_out_as_you_go\"><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\">1. Figure it out as you go.<\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Sounds counterintuitive to what we learn in all the books by all the experts\u2014no target, no bullseye. Not only that, but I\u2019m a six on the enneagram. Which means I am a security oriented personality type. I like to know where I\u2019m going, how I\u2019m going to get there, and exactly when I will arrive. I set up a plan, aim for a desired target, and work doggedly to achieve it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">The other day my son was playing with a bin of free floating legos. A mismatch of pieces from various sets. He played for hours, connecting and constructing. No instructions. No design in mind. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">When he finally brought me his creation, eager to show off his work, I delightedly oohed and ahhed and asked him what he had made. He pinched his eyebrows together, seemingly confused by my question.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">\u201cI\u2019m just figuring it out as I go,\u201d he said, shrugging his shoulders.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">His words took me by surprise. While I live for goal setting and the notion that if you don\u2019t have a target, you\u2019ll miss every time, I also respect my son\u2019s esteem for the process. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">His words reminded me that sometimes, we just need to let go of expectations. To build without any plan, instructions, or predetermined goals. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">To allow your mind to freely create, anticipating what might be. You never know, sometimes it turns out better than you could have planned.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h3><span id=\"2_Reward_yourself\"><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt;\">2. Reward yourself.<\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">My children are recognized for their contribution to the household. Each of them has a chart\u2014an incentive system. Complete the task, earn a sticker. Put away clothes. Get a sticker. Make the bed. Sticker. And after so many stickers, they earn a reward. The purpose is to establish a set of clear expectations that ultimately lead to a sense of fulfillment and self-worth.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">As we assume more responsibility with age, the rewards may grow in scope (the annual vacation, the latest flat screen TV), but decrease in frequency. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">We find ourselves burning out from the daily mundane tasks that sustain our lifestyle. The work is hard and the payoff is often too far in the future. Children aren\u2019t the only ones who need to feel like their contributions count. You need the proverbial sticker too.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">I\u2019m not suggesting you create yourself a sticker chart. But, reward yourself in frequent increments. You can set a system where you earn an hour of you time. Or buy that new device you\u2019ve been stalking on Amazon. Or finally break off a piece of that Kit Kat bar. Take your pick. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Either way, if you don\u2019t reward yourself (before the annual vacation), you may find yourself resenting the things you should be most grateful for.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h3><span id=\"3_Give_running_hugs\"><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt;\">3. Give running hugs. <\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">There is nothing like being on the receiving end of a hug that begins with a starting line. That\u2019s all.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h3><span id=\"4_Take_a_time_out\"><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt;\">4. Take a time out. <\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">I call them mindset resets\u2014a moment to gather yourself by distancing yourself from a situation with space, time, and a simple activity. I can spot the signs when my kids are spiraling. Tired? Cranky? Frustrated? I instruct them to take a \u201cmindset reset,\u201d or more commonly, a time out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">They keep activity books in their room for such instances: coloring books, crossword puzzles, how-to-draw pages, etc. It\u2019s not really a punishment; it is a punishment preventative. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">I find that they almost always return refreshed. What if we developed an awareness of our own irritability and could redirect ourselves to a mindset reset? Just google \u201ctherapeutic benefits to coloring\u201d and you may find yourself happy to take a time out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h3><span id=\"5_Go_back_to_the_basics\"><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt;\">5. Go back to the basics. <\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">My son is in preschool. I imagine him spending the mornings singing the ABCs and dancing the hokey pokey. When I picked him up from school the other day, he bashfully shared his writing notebook with me. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">This week\u2019s theme: the body. Slowly, I decoded the scrunched letters to read\u2014antigen, white blood cells, red blood cells. My eyebrows arched in confusion while I praised his work ethic. \u201cWow! That\u2019s amazing!\u201d I went on to inquire, \u201cSo . . . what\u2019s an antigen?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">He shrugged his shoulders and squeaked in his sweet, small voice, \u201cI don\u2019t know\u201d before prancing out the door.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">I am a teacher. I am all for challenging our children. I advocate for rigorous curriculum, but I also wonder what happened to the good \u2018ol basics? The fundamentals necessary for growth? <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">There is a reason for the saying \u201cback to basics.\u201d It\u2019s because the basics are HARD! The basics are the most important part of any beginning. So, when you\u2019re feeling overwhelmed or searching for simple solutions, I challenge you to go back to the basics.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">P.S. An antigen is a substance that tells the immune system whether something in your body is harmful. And yes, I had to google it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">It\u2019s not unnatural to fall into survival mode, our movements fueled by fears and worst case scenarios. We act to prevent them so we won\u2019t have to push through them. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Luckily, we can draw wisdom from the little ones coming up behind us. Even if it is inspired by a two-year-old\u2019s tantrum.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You know you\u2019re on the precipice of either a breakthrough, or a breakdown, when you find yourself consuming more self-help books, how-to blogs, and ra-ra podcasts than you\u2019d like to admit. Each medium, an IV drip of motivation, inspiration, and positivity. A necessary form of nourishment for the soul; a form of life support on [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":135,"featured_media":6227,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6226"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/135"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6226"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6226\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6229,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6226\/revisions\/6229"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6227"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6226"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6226"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6226"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}