{"id":6400,"date":"2023-02-19T20:52:57","date_gmt":"2023-02-19T15:22:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/?p=6400"},"modified":"2023-02-19T21:03:25","modified_gmt":"2023-02-19T15:33:25","slug":"five-phrases-you-should-stop-saying-to-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/five-phrases-you-should-stop-saying-to-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"Five Phrases You Should Stop Saying To Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"
A growth mindset journey is a rocky road. So here we have 5 phrases you should stop saying to yourself to take the first step toward self consciousness.<\/span><\/strong><\/div>\n

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You can change how you experience life by choosing a different way to think.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n

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It\u2019s no secret that \u201cthe secret\u201d to life is based on a single, simple principle \u2014 the law of attraction<\/a> \u2014 which posits that what you think about, you bring about. The way you experience life is through thought and those thoughts become your reality.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

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Remember how you never noticed how popular your car was until you bought it? Or how as soon as you picked out the perfect baby name, it began to trend on the list of top ten? Or how as soon as you made the calculated switch to the other checkout line, the one you just left suddenly started rolling through customers like they have a Fast Pass?<\/span><\/div>\n

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It\u2019s called the \u201cBaader-Meinhof phenomenon\u201d \u2014 a frequency bias when you notice something new and suddenly you\u2019re hyper-aware of its existence. If only we could put this hyper awareness to good use \u2014 to notice more of what we desire instead of what we don\u2019t \u2014 we can cultivate more favorable outcomes into our reality.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

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If you read my article How to Make Peace With Your Inner Voice<\/a>, you\u2019d know that my own thought life has been undergoing an extensive renovation for some time. In fact, I sometimes wonder how I write any of this when I myself feel lousy at it. <\/span><\/div>\n

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Needless to say, a growth mindset journey is a rocky road, but increased consciousness of our own self-sabotaging patterns is the first step to changing them.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

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Five phrases you should stop saying:<\/span><\/strong><\/div>\n

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1. \u201cI just need to get through . . . \u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n
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You know you\u2019ve said it. If you could just get through this week, this appointment, this event . . . The problem is, once you get through, there is always something else on the other side. <\/span><\/div>\n
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There will always be another thing to get through. It\u2019s important to appreciate the immediate experience; stay in the present or why bother being there in the first place. <\/span><\/div>\n
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The difference between feeling anxious or at peace depends on where you plant your attention. If the goal is to \u201cenjoy the ride,\u201d as the saying goes, then stop wishing it was over. <\/span><\/div>\n
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Instead of \u201cI just need to get through . . .\u201d specifically define how you are successfully getting through.<\/span><\/div>\n

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2. “Had I only known . . .”\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n
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Of course hindsight is 20\/20. But had we actually known, then we wouldn\u2019t necessarily have grown. I once heard the purpose of life is to learn. And the best teacher is struggle. <\/span><\/div>\n
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Most of us can look back on a hard time and admit that it was the making of you. That you wouldn\u2019t wish \u201cblank\u201d on your worst enemy, despite understanding its significance in hindsight. Embrace what was rather than what could have been. <\/span><\/div>\n
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Instead of \u201chad I only known . . .\u201d identify something you learned from the undesired outcome.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

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3. “I wish I would have . . .”<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n
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On the heels of \u201chad I only known\u201d is a new narrative that begins with how you would have done something differently had you known the outcome \u2014 a response that would have invited a more preferable result. But for fun, let\u2019s say you were struck by lightning and given the power of knowing how all your actions would influence the future. <\/span><\/div>\n
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You would know the exact points in which to pivot. Perfect! But, then again, it might feel pretty lonely living in hindsight with the ghosts of the past. You make the best decisions you can with the information you have. <\/span><\/div>\n
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Cut yourself some slack. Instead of \u201cI wish I would have . . .\u201d recognize the steps you are taking to alter the course moving forward.<\/span><\/div>\n

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4. \u201cI\u2019ll start when . . .\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n
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Let\u2019s face it, anytime you begin a sentence with \u201cI\u2019ll start when . . .\u201d what you\u2019re really saying is you don\u2019t want to start now! <\/span><\/div>\n
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Likely you don\u2019t have the energy to deal with whatever it is you have to do \u2014 with good reason: I\u2019ll start my diet when we get back from that trip. I\u2019ll start planning date nights after I close this deal. I\u2019ll start saving money when my car is paid off. <\/span><\/div>\n
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But there will always be a good reason to delay something hard. I am a huge \u201cswallow the frog\u201d advocate. It means you identify the most difficult task of the day (frog) and complete it before moving on to anything else (swallow). <\/span><\/div>\n
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If you get the hardest thing out of the way first (before you\u2019re drained), then you\u2019ll be able to tackle the remaining tasks with increased ease and reduced stress. Instead of \u201cI\u2019ll start when. . . \u201d simply start now.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

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5. “I\u2019ll be happy when . . .”<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n
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I\u2019ll be happy when I have that job, get that promotion, meet that guy, have those kids, lose that weight, buy that house . . . (fill in the blank). <\/span><\/div>\n
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But there will always be another thing. Contentment must be found in what you have. If you focus on what you don\u2019t have you end up with exactly that \u2014 the law of attraction is not personal. Instead of \u201cI\u2019ll be happy when . . .\u201d identify a few things you are presently grateful for.<\/span><\/div>\n
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The frequency bias is actually not a surprising phenomenon. Look for hearts and you\u2019ll suddenly see them everywhere \u2014 in the shape of a leaf, in the gem of a ring, in the tracks of sand. If you focus on finding something, chances are good that you will.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A growth mindset journey is a rocky road. So here we have 5 phrases you should stop saying to yourself to take the first step toward self consciousness.   You can change how you experience life by choosing a different way to think.\u00a0   It\u2019s no secret that \u201cthe secret\u201d to life is based on […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":135,"featured_media":6401,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[189],"tags":[656,941,987,713],"aioseo_notices":[],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6400"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/135"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6400"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6400\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6407,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6400\/revisions\/6407"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6401"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6400"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6400"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifegram.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6400"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}